Realizations

Many moments pass and in weakness I crumble and reality I fail to grasp
Air running thick through my lungs veins slowing.

I find it hard to breathe in the humid breeze that stagnates amongst my lost breaths, moments and musings wondering what will be will be. What is, is and come what may or might. 

But I am strong, but even the strongest of metals if tempered with enough has a weak point. 

So sometimes in my weakest moments doubt will hit me
And some of the poison that has been fired at me will seep through the waterproof watertight cracks of my facades 

I began to wonder and question and doubt
My thoughts will shout and silence will reign 
As speculation thunders through my every vein and fibre 

Cloudy judgement will overshadow reason as my heart goes through every season 
A tempest storm that hurls thoughts against my sanity

I begin to doubt 
Funny feelings fumble with my confused thoughts 
Trickery and treachery against self as the lies knock knock knock knock 

So excuse me if at times I might stare far away into space as if I’m gazing into the hypnotic flames 
Harbingers of memories words and sounds 

Because I begin to doubt
And question 
It all comes back to me 
What’s worse is that I know they are false tales built to destroy but at times they get to me because I doubt

I falter my steps float on moving ground
I can’t face it. I want to run and hide
But where can I?

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